A Handy House Guest

Consider this an advertising resume for my next cross-country visitation trek. I am not what anyone would call a handyman. My solution to nearly all household repairs involves the use of the yellow pages. Recently, however, upon solving a niggling fix-it problem with some outside-of-the-box logic; I was humorously nominated as a superior hands-off household consultant. Which struck me as interesting because as a visiting house guest of some duration, I do become involved in what can only be described as a --- Travelin' Honey-Do List, including over the past several months:

-winterizing and wrapping a hot tub;

-rearranging a living room (and putting it all back);

-liquor and wine shopping for a holiday party of sixty;

-emptying a dozen or more litter boxes;

-assistant cat claw clipping;

-watering two vegetable patches;

-drip irrigation repair (failed attempt at)

-picking up or delivering assorted personages to train, bus & air transport hubs;

-clean-up after bladder control challenged dog;

-installation of tv satellite dish;

-leaf raking;

-chimney sweeping;

-recliner foot rest repair (consultation only)

-bird feeder relocation;

-big screen tv relocation, re-relocation, re-re-relocation;

-six bag Goodwill closet clearance (w/ psychiatric support at no additional charge);

-re-tracing route home from bank and finding lost $124;

-re-caning patio furniture (abject failure);

-re-covering escaped cat (twice);

-changing many light bulbs (it's a height thing);

-lots and lots of slicing, dicing and cooking;

-tree trimming (security & safety support only);

-toilet tank repair with coat hanger and Bic lighter;

-mattress flipping (no really);

-digital television system reset;

-saltwater fish tank servicing (kibbitz only)

-bi-annual throw rug laundry marathon (3 day event);

-trimming night blooming jasmine vines;

-finding lost objects based on vague description;

-finding lost objects based on reverse OCD affliction;

-relocation of oversized slate King Arthur round table;

-swimming pool servicing;

-neighbor servicing (oh wait, that's a different post)

-the infamous crawl in the attic, air-conditioning duct fiasco;

I are a good houseguest, invitations now being accepted for 2011.

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ID this photo Joe, I did change the tag